7 REASONS WHY MANY COURTSHIPS FAIL

I tried turning on the music ,maybe it could cool my temper and communicate to my nerves. I didn't fail to speak to my Pastor, he asked me to rush down to church. I quickly dressed up without combing my hair,you know what is funny ,I couldn't even take my bath. It wasn't a question of fire burning on the mountain because fire had taken over the mountain.

On getting to church, I met my pastor dishing marital advice to a newly married couple. Of course I attended their wedding ceremony last weekend. It was a glorious one! To my strange surprise,I heard the wife screaming DIVORCE

DIVORCE KE? That was the question swinging in my mind. Brother Charles is one of the top executives of Access Bank Plc

On the other hand,Sister Catherine also hailed from a wealthy family. I concluded Money can't be the problem.

Then,what could be the problem? That was the question panting for an answer...

I almost forgot the feud between me and my fiancee

In just a week ,Charles and Catherine are already ranting for Divorce... This must be “Ogun Esu”. Oh sorry I mean it must be “Devil's handwork”

The pure truth is ,no couple prays for Divorce ,they all desire to live “happily ever after” not “happily never after”

We all crave to see our children running through our mansions, we all crave to kiss ourselves to sleep,holding each other ,as we celebrate many years of togetherness with rainbow lights,cozy music and romantic dances…

We all crave to be together. Perhaps ,if there is a possibility of living as a husband and a wife in heaven,I am sure ,we will surely jump to that juicy offer

I sat down with hot tears gushing out of my eyes ,knowing fully well I am about losing my roman goddess ,as a result of her strange attitude these days and also watching this beautiful couple gradually settling for DIVORCE.

To have a peaceful home , it's not a question of what I've known…

It is a question of knowing. Knowing is continuous.

I remember a truism that goes thus “It only takes ignorance to be awarded the certificate of stupidity

In other words,to shun ignorance ,is to be updated with right information

That time,I wiped off my tears and determined to learn the mechanism of courtship and along the line ,I stumbled on a write up titled 7 reasons why many courtships fail

1. Lack of Purpose

2. Lack of Sacrifices

3. Lack of Quality Time

4. Traditional Mentality

5. Lack of Flexibility

6. Lack Of Appreciation. God! Not being the sole factor.

Dear readers ,kindly sit down,fasten your seatbelt and don't forget to put on your knowledge cap ,as we journey on to the palace of knowledge...

Don't worry ,you are safe in my arms🙂

Attention please,we are about to set out …

LACK OF PURPOSE

“The sweetness of a cake is not tested by seeing,it is by tasting” The ice on the cake is not actually the cake ,even though it is part of the production processes...

Frankly speaking ,many courtships are just like the “ice on the cake” ,which of course looks appealing to our eyes but it is our tongues that tells the cardinal story ot its sweetness…

Many courtships are fueled through lust and romance and of course these features are subjected to seasons and time.

A purposeful driven courtship will of course withstand the test of time. In a simplistic statement,purpose is a set of goals and objectives pen down for accomplishment.

“The moment you failed to realize the cardinal reasons of coming together,you are already on the path of failure”

Sometimes ago,a question was thrown to a couple. The question goes thus— can you please enumerate 3 reasons of coming together as a couple?

Guess what they chorused as an answer? To have sex,give birth to us,tour the world.

If your reasons circle around these points, I put it to you, you have not found the true purposes of your courtship/marriage

If your courtship is founded on beauty ,riches and not purposes ,I am happy to tell you,it is a journey heading to collision.

Purposes bring you to the same team,even though you soiled from the same family with different cultures. It brings you to the same page,executing the same mission towards achieving the same results.

A purpose driven courtship is not easily broken…

Lack of Sacrifice

“Show me your scars ,I will give you the badge of your star ”

“What do you discard to stabilize your courtship?

If your spouse keeps reiterating your ill-mannered attitude and on your part,you've consciously failed to work on your dark spot, I tell you it is a threat to your courtship

Sacrificial role is a role that must be actively performed by the intending husband and wife.

Analogically speaking, imagine a lady who can not sacrifice her airtime to hear the voice of her “husband to be” or a man who can not go the extra to prove the authenticity of his love for his “roman goddess”. Courtship is demanding. Love is not love when the coefficient factor of Sacrifice is missing.

If you are selfish ,you just cannot play the role of Sacrifice. It takes selflessness to sacrifice

Lack of Quality Time

The road could get busy,work could get more tasky,pen might not wish to stop inking the book ,after all ,these ideal activities are what put food on the table. Inspite of these,quality time must be spent with your loved ones.

It's not about amount of time spent , it's about quality time spent.

In that little time,create a magic in the air, confess your love over and over again

Go see movies together,take your woman out if you have the money and vice versa.

Pray and fast together ,discuss issues of life together. You can't grow together ,if you refused to spend quality time together...

Courtship is not for babies,it is for those who are preparing for marriage. You don't gamble in courtship ,you sow seed that will germinate in Marriage

Traditional Mentality

Let's create a simple scenario

I am the man of the house, you can't be talking to me like that. This is one of our traditional beliefs plunging many homes into jeopardy.

Sometimes ,for peace to reign ,all that is required is to trigger the “weapon of Sorry” I know you are the man ,so to say the high priest of the family,your duty is to stabilize peace.

It doesn't matter how that role is played. It wasn't prayer that wrecked down the wall of Jericho,it was a simple instruction.

In other words ,to keep your courtship could make you act the role of a fool,it doesn't mean you are fool,it means you cherish your godly relationship...

If it takes Patience,to keep your man or woman , subscribe to the full package of it.

Lack of Flexibility

Hey man,can you handle women without mastering the skill of flexibility.

Men! Those goddesses are full of drama. They are rapid thinkers not deep thinkers. They communicate feelings while men communicate facts. We are summarizers while they are essayist. A rigid man can not flow with the complexity of woman

If you don't understand this,you will keep having issues with them

If you want to enjoy your woman, you've got to be flexible in your approach. In other words,you've got to be emotionally flexible...

Drop your ego,those goddesses are carriers of paradise ,you can only unleash those paradisic features in your territory when you drop your ego.

If Devil can't defeat your woman,your kingdom is forever secured. Strengthen your women,they are your home defenders!

LACK OF APPRECIATION

Some men and women do not know how to appreciate themselves. You don't need to be a poet or essayist to express how you feel towards the romantic service rendered by your man or woman.

Don't just say thank you ,you can add prayer to it. Appreciation makes the givers happy and of course he or she will desire to give more.

The fact is ,everybody loves to be appreciated. If your man loves his picture to be posted on your status,kindly do that . If your woman loves to be appreciated by words,gifts and so on, please do more

Appreciation goes to the heart,it is a message being communicated to the heart.  

When you are appreciated,you are motivated. No one detests appreciation. Don't stop appreciating your baby

GOD! Not being the sole factor

If God didn't build the house,the labourers are just sweating for the fun of it. 

Nothing survives to the end without God being the originator. If God is not in the boat of your courtship ,the end of it is what I fear.

The beginning may be convincingly smooth now,the question is ,is God leading you into it ?

Are you sure ,it is God or it's just your idea?

Picture this — Satan could leave a home to thrive fruitfully and peacefully  for years and squash it into a thousand pieces with in a few seconds.

We don't romance people's approval, we romance God's approval.

There is a way that seems right to all men,but the end there of is destruction

Thanks for reading 

I see God helping us

©️ Kingdom Shaker